Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
