are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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