he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize