I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize