Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
