Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
