Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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