New low: just hacked my moms facebook
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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