you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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