I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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