I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
