hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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