so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize