don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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