Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
