He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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