Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
