the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
