why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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