We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
