Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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