I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
