This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
