p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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