i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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