Don't you send me to vm
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
