I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
