highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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