The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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