I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
