I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
