she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
