imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
