FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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