so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
