I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
