When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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