I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
