Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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