I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
