she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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