I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
