We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
