Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
