Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
