Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
