Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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