Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
