Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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