just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
