So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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