what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
