he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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