i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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