I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
