Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
