im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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