Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
