I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
