Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
