i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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