lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Randomize
