Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
